I haven’t slept in two entire days. Trying entices a jagged memory… We all were doing it, everyone in the world. Everyone except Mom and Dad. Chelsea told me it would help, I had make the mistake of divulging my emotional strife. I was down, dreary, falling, drowning.
Everything was irrelevant. Nothing mattered. Chelsea said it would help,
I believed it really would. No… Actually I didn’t trust her.
It was Brian who I wanted to do it for; No. No, it was
Brian I believed when he said it would make me
Feel again. He picked me up after school, I
Told my parents I was with friends. It
Wasn’t exactly a Lie. He brushed the
Hair from my face, like in a sappy movie.
I still felt numb. I wanted to feel like fire,
Like I was supposed to when an attractive
Man got so close. He brought out a tiny
Bag, the contents resembling baby powder
My doting mommy and daddy would fluff
Into my diaper as a baby. If only they saw
This coming. Brian…Pulling my clenched
Fist open. Holding the remaining limp
Hand in his, ‘Trust me’. I would have
Trusted the Devil right then if
He had said I could
Have my life back.
This is what I was
He pressed a bit
Into his Fingertips.
Under my lower
Into the pink
2.) I see a lot in a day, though socially I am
Lacking, in my observation skills are
Fine-tuned. Usually twice a day is all the
Attention I get. Sometimes just once.
And that’s only when I am hard at
Work. My Job isn’t so bad. I’m a sanitary
Worker. I simply have to scrub these white
Square tiles, that resemble the tiles in my
Home, except much smaller. They’re actually
Yellow when I receive them, but after they’re
Pretty white. I also scrub this pink substance
Around the tiles too. Sometimes I have to
Get little bits of green or brown or white stuff
Too, that’s probably the worst part of my job.
Anyway. That doesn’t take too long, usually
About two minutes per shift. Other than that
I normally relax all day, occasionally
Interrupted by the tile bearing animals. They
Will do things like look into their reflection
Or sit on the
Take off their
Use the water
Out noises similar
To the Sounds
That come from
My friend named
Of the time.
The time to
Move on my
Taking her in is all legs and no skirt
Her skin is porcelain, her eyes are fire.
She purses her lips, she crinkles her brow
Looking into the mirror, criticize.
Words cross her lips, I don’t understand them.
I’m. So. Fat. Can she not see her beauty?
From her plunging neckline to her high heels,
She insults what most women would kill for.
Her sunshine tresses reach her middle back.
She applies charcoal black to her eyelids.
Why does she break herself down? It hurts me.
I wonder what it would be like, I wish
I could be so naïve, to have beauty.
And also to trash it with so much force.