personal writing skills
In this final portfolio paper, I am going to reflect on my performance in two of my previous essays, personal writing skills, show my progress towards achieving the stated outcomes of Eng 1252. The two essays I have chosen for my paper are, “A Life of Significance and Worth Introduction” and “Can a Playground Be Too Safe; Rhetorical Analysis.” I have chosen the two essays because they best reflect my writing skills.
Reflecting on these two essays, I have realized that I have several strengths and weaknesses. I achieved writing great essays because of my ability to pay attention to detail. The strength of paying attention to details enabled me to spot and correct all grammatical errors in my essays. I am passionate about reading and this made it easy for me to read the article “Can a Playground Be Too Safe,” John Tierney, examine, and emulate his prowess in writing which ensured I wrote a great essay. My strength of clarity made it easier to break dense and complex thoughts from other sources to simple and clear ideas that can be understood by others. I have noted that I have a weakness of redundancy and wordiness in my writings. As I continue to write college-level papers, I will address my weakness of redundancy and wordiness by avoiding the use of unnecessary language, avoid a string of prepositional phrases, I will cut adjectives and verbs, eliminate redundant phrases and words in my papers, and avoid the use of passive voice.
Meeting Eng 1252 Primary Learning Objectives
In my first essay, I wrote various definitions of a life of significance and worth and what people can do to live a life of significance and worth. I critically revised the essay and checked for any writing mistakes. Through my essay, I believe that I have met the specific objectives of this course. I identified the rhetorical situation which is how people define a life of significance and worth. My essay has the purpose of teaching people how to live a life of significance and worth. The significance of my text is that it highlights ways people can achieve a life of significance and worth. My essay has met the primary objective of composing projects that conform to standard written English. I have written my essays in MLA format. I have conformed to systematic citation of my work and in-text citation and required by the MLA format. I have formatted the body of my essay using 3 points which form my body paragraphs.
My second essay is “Can a Playground Be Too Safe; Rhetorical Analysis.” In the essay, I believe have met the learning objectives of this course. The essay is an argumentative essay and I have met the goal of rhetorical analysis through the arguments I have brought from different sources about the safety of old and modern playgrounds. I employed my reading skills in reading the article, “Can a Playground Be Too Safe,” by John Tierney and broke down the text into a simple text. I have applied all the rhetorical provided the rhetorical appeals used by John Tierney in his article and their significance to readers. John Tierney effectively used emotional appeals, ethos, and extensive research to catch the reader’s attention and convince them to convince readers that modern playgrounds are safe. In the essay, I have evaluated my sources of information for timeliness and point of view. I have conformed to systematic application and in-text citation in my essay.
Assessment of my work
I think my portfolio deserves a grade A. The portfolio deserves a grade A because I have given the description of my learning experience that are related to course learning outcomes, the presentation of artifacts is convincing with strong support to our learning outcomes, the portfolio provides clear pieces of evidence that are tied to sound educational theory, my portfolio demonstrates how I have mastered the course knowledge and skills, and my portfolio is well organized with excellent writing and production skills.
Apart from the two essays, reading information resources related to this course has given me the chance to practice my imitation skill and recording notes. I have not only learned how to imitate other author’s good writing, but I have also know how a good paper looks like in terms of formatting, content, and context. This course has been the best adventure in my education and writing career.
Essays I have written and revised
People have different definitions of a life of significance and worth. Some define a life of significance and worth as having wealth and luxuries, while others define it as a life of having a happy family. The difference in the definitions is based on individual needs and paths each one chooses to follow. People tend to follow different lives and paths to living happier lives. People need to consider taking some time to focus on their life to make choices based on their needs and capabilities, ensuring that they stay focused on a particular goal and provide the required energy (Młoźniak and Mateusz 12). To ensure a life of significance, people need to keep positive energy, surround themselves with what is valued, and stay stress-free. This paper intends to give an insight into a life of significance and worth.
First, it is normal for people to encounter situations that affect their feelings or reactions. However, there need for people to stay optimistic, to focus on their primary goal. Being confident is essential as it helps an individual to overcome inevitable challenges in life. Being optimistic also helps in reducing stress and ensures good health. Every individual has diverse thoughts and ideas of what they want and what they consider essential (Młoźniak and Mateusz 11) Thinking and focusing on the future is vital as it gives us a reason to be optimistic.
Secondly, staying stress-free is essential in ensuring a greater life of significance and worth. Different challenges in life like financial hardships provide stress among individuals. To overcome these challenges in life and live a significant and worthy life, people need to focus on their strengths. People should focus on things that please them to provide better performance and overcome stress. Besides, people also need to take some time and focus on themselves. People are responsible for their happiness, and the different choices of individuals determine what seems meaningful to them. Also, while achieving our various goals in life makes life pleasant and significant. It is known by all that achieving our goals in life will help in reducing stress as people feel they have worthy lives.
Additionally, determining what we are capable of handling and what is within our control is also essential in promoting a meaningful life. Identifying the things under our control ensures that we surround ourselves with the most valuable things in life. Among the things that people provide in their lives are family, religion, friends, hobbies, and work. These are some aspects of life that individuals spend their time on and ensure that they are busy. People need to consider having activities that they find valuable in life and take time to achieve the goals of different aspects of life to live a meaningful life.
In conclusion, a life of significance and worth may have different terms from diverse people. Any individual is capable of living a worthy life as it involves focusing on the strengths, which makes achieving our goals seem to be an easy task. People need to decide on the things that make them happy to ensure a meaningful life. Additionally, avoiding stress also provides that people live meaningful lives (Młoźniak and Mateusz 10). It may be challenging to decide on the strengths that individuals should focus on to live worthy lives. People need to consider taking some time to focus on themselves to make choices based on their needs and capabilities, which ensure that they stay focused on a particular goal and provide the required energy too. A person is capable of making the most out of life (Van Den Born 101). It is normal to face different challenges in life, especially when individuals do not have things that make them feel worthy. Growth can be significant if people are optimistic and less stressed in their daily lives. Besides, being surrounded by people who will make you happy is also critical in ensuring a healthier life.
In the article, “Can a Playground Be Too Safe,” John Tierney discusses the advantages and drawbacks of modern playgrounds and their effect on children. In 2011, when the article was written, there were controversies concerning old playgrounds that needed to be replaced with modern and safer playgrounds (Tierney 27). The leading cause of this change was because of parental concern, lawsuits, and safety guidelines. In the article, the author talks about the impact of the modern playground on children who actively interact with contemporary playgrounds like the influence of modern playgrounds on children’s behavior and emotional development. Tierney talks of the children’s behavior, which is evident in later stages of development due to the modern playground (Banko 10). The author mentions that the modern playground is too safe for children, thus hindering children from developing emotionally. Additionally, the text is also accompanied by supporting sources, which captures a reader’s attention. Besides, with the effective use of pathos, ethos, and logos, the message is delivered to the audience on the advantages of the traditional playgrounds compared to the modern-day playground. Comment by Jackie Larson: No sources are used in the introduction. Comment by Jackie Larson: Only one sources per paragraph and none in the introduction. Comment by Jackie Larson: This makes no sense.
First, Tierney uses emotional appeal to catch the reader’s attention as it relates to people’s experiences. Pathos is used to deliver the message to an audience through evoking feelings by appealing to the emotions of the audience. For instance, the author indicates that playground safety is like a two-sided coin. Additionally, Dr. Ball also mentions that the thought that a playground is too safe may make the children take more risks when playing. Besides, Tierney proposes for fear of litigation as it helps in limiting some of the adventures in the playground. Risky activities in the playgrounds tend to motivate and raise self-esteem among kids and the sense of accomplishment. People often talk about their success and triumph feelings of overcoming their fears in their youths (Tierney 122). Concerning the article, safety playgrounds may cause retarded emotional development among the children. Children may be left with fears, which makes them vulnerable. Tierney utilized pathos in his work, which proposes the application of the traditional playgrounds compared to modern playgrounds. Comment by Jackie Larson: Is this a quote? Comment by Jackie Larson: Need a transition.
Secondly, John Tierney utilizes ethos in his articles. Ethos may be termed as the moral nature managing the beliefs of an organization or individual. Ethos is mainly constituted of three main elements, namely, trustworthiness, authority, and unselfish, with the intended motive. Tierney effectively builds trust with his audience as he presents himself as a trustworthy and reliable reference. Besides, his background and that of the source also adds to the efficiency of the article. The author believes that the modern playground has not provided a solution to reducing the accidents and injury rates among children. Besides, litigation rates have also inclined, which makes the modern playgrounds unsafe for children. Additional sources from the research indicate that modern playgrounds are dangerous for children compared to the old ones. Comment by Jackie Larson: What articles? Comment by Jackie Larson: What additional sources? Comment by Jackie Larson: Need a transition.
Thirdly, the article also indicates extensive research from diverse groups to present an argument on the use of logical appeal. Research sources make the article credible in proposing traditional playgrounds. The application of research is expressed by the facts, evidence, and reasons that further explain work. Tierney utilizes Logos in presenting his argument. Research indicates that the modern playground does not necessarily lower the average risk on the playground (Vvan Dden Born 844). Additionally, research also shows that the rate of injuries among children has increased with modern playgrounds. Tierney ensures the use of evidence and facts from scholarly sources, which additionally helps in delivering the goal of his message. The structure of the article provides sufficient evidence used to clarify his proposition. Comment by Jackie Larson: What article?
The use of instances, personal encounters, and sources help in delivering the main argument. For example, Tierney talks of the young girl who climbed to the top of the monkey bars. On reaching the top, the girl is proud that she had achieved something. The girl takes her chances and climbs to the top to experience it herself. In this case, Tierney expresses how the monkey bars prove to be victorious instead of dangerous as the girl once thought (Tierney 27). The girl must have learned a great lesson, which helps in delivering the message efficiently. Comment by Jackie Larson: Are you paraphrasing all of this information?
In conclusion, Tierney utilized research and personal experience to convince readers that modern playgrounds are too safe. The references used to share a frequent basis of experience and education. Additionally, the author also applies logos, pathos, and ethos in his articles, which make the article more appealing to readers. Playground safety is a primary concern for lawyers, parents, and schools concerned about the emotional development and safety of their children. Many of the recreational activities on the modern playground are risky and unsafe for the children (Playful Disruption of Digital Media 12). The modern playgrounds are less safe compared to the olden playgrounds. The modern playgrounds may be exciting but also affects the psychological wellbeing of the children. The modern playground is developed too safe for children’s playing, which may leave the children vulnerable. Besides, the emotional development of children is also affected by the modern playground. Unlike the olden playground, the modern playground is less effective in ensuring the safety of children. The author stresses the importance of safety in playgrounds, which is essential for their emotional growth and wellbeing. Comment by Jackie Larson: Only one citation per paragraph. Comment by Jackie Larson: No citations are used in the conclusion.
You need at least three full pages of text.
You cannot paraphrase entire sections. I want to see quotation marks and only one citation in the body of the paper. Do not use a citation in the introduction or the conclusion.
Your works cited page is not correct.
Banko, Ç., & Çelik, S. S. “The Investigation of Outdoor Playgrounds in terms of Supporting
James, S. Destabilizing Playgrounds: Cartographical Interfaces, Mutability, Risk, and Play. In
Młoźniak, Iwona, and Mateusz Zatoński. “On ageing, economization of health, and media ethics: how much is a month of life worth?.” Journal of Health Inequalities 4.1 (2018): 9-12.
Playful Disruption of Digital Media (pp. 87-97). Singapore.: Springer, 2018.
Risky Play.” Inonu University Journal of the Faculty of Education (INUJFE) (2018): 19(3).
Tierney, J. Can a playground be too safe? New York Times., 2011.
van den Born, Riyan JG, et al. “The missing pillar: Eudemonic values in the justification of nature conservation.” Journal of Environmental Planning and Management 61.5-6 (2018): 841-856.