Use This Information writing the paper, i am neugatiating with my parents to let me travel to malaysia to teach people english”younge,old” there and i am using Cialdini techniuqes, diamond techniques trying to get what i want!
Here is some facts:
1.75 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD SPEAK ENGLISH.
85% OF INTERNATIONAL COMPANIES USE ENGLISH.
80% OF ACADEMIC JOURNALS ARE WRITTEN IN ENGLISH.
70% OF MALAYSIAN EMPLOYEES DO NOT SPEAK EMPLOYABLE ENGLISH!
Teaching English to Refugee Children Volunteer Program in Malaysia
· Malaysia hosts one of the largest urban refugee populations in the world. The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) reported the presence of 150,200 refugees
· Due to the lack of legal recognition means that refugees are unable to obtain residence or work permits; the refugee children are denied formal education because they cannot attend government schools. The core aims and objectives of this project are to help the refugee children build their confidence and improve their level of English.
· Have fun teaching the kids and improve public speaking skill
· Being useful to others, the attitude of volunteerism has a great impact on the individual youth itself. It cultivates the easy nature of sacrifice for the better, the space for learning collectively working and sowing the feelings of love and affection among beings, regardless of appearance, religion or race.
Using 4 Quadrant Model writing my paper
The point of the Four Quadrant Negotiation Model is to give me the chance to prepare, practice. lot of people as me has not be preparing because they are over confident and thinking that they are ready and don’t need to be prepare. This is my favorite tool because it gives me the real chance to prepare for upcoming negotiation by using the 4 quadrant model for my project as I am meeting my parents after the finals as my parent and me the decision makers wither allowing me to travel and teach people on Malaysia without working with my MBA certification or not allowing me to try what I want and not supporting me emotionally, financially. After reading, using the 4 quadrant in class, and practicing it with my classmates, it opens my mind as in the past I had similar situations to what I have now, and If I used the 4 quadrant I could got better result. As I was studying abroad and my parents did not let me go by myself as I was teenager so my father traveled with me. If I had the chance to prepared more by using the 4 quadrant in the past, I would suggest living with a hosted family if my parents did not like the dorms. Now I am not a teenager anymore! And I think I am ready to travel and live by my own after studying abroad and taking classes on how to deal and work in diversity environment, and having this class to learn how to negotiate in different techniques for different situation as I learned from Pffert, Cialdini, Diamond books. There are lots of good techniques and weapons of influence I can use to get what I want and have the chance to improve myself for family life, work life. And I am not a teenager anymore!
Quadrant I- Problems & Goals
1) Goals: short/ long term
My short-term goals would be setting development opportunities for my personal- work life and putting a plan so my parents can see it and help me getting my goal started. My long-terms goals are to get money support and getting a job in Malaysia
2) Problems: in reaching your goals
There could be a lot of complicated status as we may move back home to Saudi, stay here. They did not accept my plan, money support
3) Parties: List. Decision-maker. Counterpart. Third parties
The decision makers would be me, my parents, SACM
4) What if no deal? worst case?
Worst case scenario I would work with my certification wither in UAS or Saudi
Or I could possibly get the job on Malaysia, as Diamond indicated in his book. Will try my best to make it work.
5) Preparation: time, relative preparation. Who has more information?
I did finish my undergrad, about to finish my double master. I did contact people on Malaysia to get a job there in the summer, finishing my current degree on may 2019.
Quadrant II- situation analysis
I do need emotional support, money support of course to get the ticket, moving and living expenses in Malaysia.
7) Perceptions: It is not familiar for female on my culture to stay away without any of my family members, but if they were “my parents” in my shoes they will do their best to get the permission to teach on Malaysia as I am doing now.
8) Communication: my father is still having some of his old style and my mom wouldn’t like my plan at all and both were refusing to communicate about it, but I am still working in this as their satisfaction is so important to me. I have communication with them face to face and picking the best time to discuss it with them and I have been using some techniques from diamond as I have been “Keep asking why not?” until they gave my all their reasons then I use the reasons “collect information” as a support to what I want as “seeing the picture in the other side’s mind” and reverse it to them as I have all the answer to their questions and I will share all the information they need.
9) Standards: I do have all what my family want, as being successful in school and being honored student/ it is not normal for someone like me to travel alone! I need them to think differently as we both have common goals as keep being successful.
10) Reexamine goals: After finishing the Quadrant, I and II, I have addressed the issue I have and I need to develop options to solve them and set up a plan with the most important things I need to focus on, things I can let go. As If they will accept it, we both will have a big success as having good experience on helping needed people. If they said no, I will keep it in my mind for future and I will do something else as working in the united states and getting an experience on my field.
Quadrant III- Options/Risk Reduction
11) Brainstorm: I would say I do need a trade between giving me the chance to try what I need and then I may start my PHD for my parents. Both options will benefit me.
12) Incremental: Finish my double master instead of one master, stay in USA to get work experience and money then move to Malaysia with my own money.
13) Third parties: Family, tradition, SACM, personal relationship.
14) Framing: What would happen if I did not do it now? Why don’t let me try it? I would try to frame my parents accept my plan as I will accept what they want, and frame it to them as they said “after finishing the MBA program, they will support me to whatever, whenever I want” and I am doing something good helping and teaching needy people no matter where they are.
15) Alternatives: I would do what I need to do to make my plan work, even if I had to delay my plan.
Quadrant IV- Actions
16) Best options: I would try to make it both as my plan, family happy. A deal breaker would be if SACM request a job back home for me.
17) Who presents: my parents, I would put my family satisfaction first.
18) Process: Have an agenda to present to my parents with deadline form, as my moving time, money needed to move and live in Malaysia. I still have time but I need them to agree and save money.
19) Commitments: It is good for me so I can see the life and experiencing it and to have a different skills and try new thing and I want to learn from their culture, language, being myself. And having your child successful, having high humanity as helping other people on different countries is making every parent proud. I only need my parents “word” so I can start my plan and having them committed to their word.
20) Next steps: my family accept my plan, so I can find a job and fly to Malaysia, try it there for around six months at least, I need parents help for moving to Malaysia and I need money to live there.
I do communicating with my family about my plan and keep asking them questions and listening patiently, so I could know what they have in their mind, so I can be prepare for everything they have on mind. I do ask my parents what is the wrong on my plan? what I should change to have their pleased as I do value them the most. I am trying to frame my pan as I want and as getting my parent acceptance, to have both parties happy. One of the common goals for me and my parents is keep being successful as I always have been. I am telling my parents if they give me their acceptance I will finish my MBA with double master, and applying for PHD degree after I took a break and try out my plan as moving to Malaysia and teaching elderly people and young kids there. One thing I am still working on is the agenda with the process standards as for sure I will have by the end of December. I did go overall points- preparation and talking through beginning to end. The most important thing I did before beginning the negotiation I did Involve around the preparation as I ask my parents without letting them now about my plan to get their thought before I told them. These tips help me change moving forward.
One thing surprised me is that when I told my parents that they were doing so good and being so helpful during being abroad and I do appreciate their help and everything they did to make me to whom I am now. And for my undergrad I couldn’t travel by myself because I was underage as 17, but now I am 24 years old and I can take care of myself, they seem agreeing to what I said, as every situation is different!
One situation, is me asking my parents for permission to have my goal started and travel to Malaysia to teach there as I am having for this class project, I do communicating with my family about my plan and keep asking them questions and listening patiently, so I could know what they have in their mind, so I can be prepare for everything they have on mind. I do ask my parents what is the wrong on my plan? what should I change to have their pleased as I do value them the most. I am trying to frame my plan as I want and as getting my parent acceptance, to have both parties happy. One of the common goals for me and my parents is keep being successful as I always have been. I am telling my parents if they give me their acceptance I will “trade value” finish my MBA with double master, and applying for PHD degree after I took a break and try out my plan as moving to Malaysia and teaching elderly people and young kids there. One thing I am still working on is the agenda with the process standards as for sure I will have by the end of December. I did go overall points- preparation and talking through beginning to end. The most important thing I did before beginning the negotiation I did Involve around the preparation as I ask my parents without letting them know about my plan to get their thought before I told them my plan. These tips help me change moving forward. One thing surprised me is that when I told my parents that they were doing so good and being so helpful during being abroad and I do appreciate their help and everything they did to make me to whom I am now” value them”. And for my undergrad I couldn’t travel by myself because I was underage as 17, but now I am 24 years old and I can take care of myself, they seem agreeing to what I said, as every situation is different as now I am an adult and everything is situational as letting a female traveling around by herself and living overseas for helping others and doing such a good thing is should not be the reason to not letting me go and stuck to the old culture! The list worked that because I am prepared to the negotiation I am so happy that they are giving me initial acceptance and there is no reason for not letting me reach my goals and travel as I am keep being successful as they know me and want me using “everything is situational” tools help me get win the negotiation as who would not want their child to reach their goals, good goals as helping needy people and being successful?
One of the three most important lessons that I have learned about negotiation from Getting More is “Trust” is very important in every relationship and very important in negotiation. I learned that some people could lie to get advantage of you without feeling bad of doing that, and I learned that telling the truth is very important as you value the person with you and building good trust with them. some people focusing on slicing the pie for themselves and telling false information, it will break the trust between us as he/she lied to get what he/she wants is unethical. As Steven gave me this lesson by lying to me while doing a class exercise.
My second important lesson I learned from Diamond book is “everything is situational”. It provides a useful tool as we can use it in every situation differently. What are my goals? Who are they? What will it take to persuade them? I learned that every situation is different and I should know how to use different tools and techniques for different situation. As I use this technique with my parents to accept letting me travel and live by myself in different country even if the culture is still tied us to old cultural thing, I know it is to protects girls and to provide good life for girls. But I am different and my situation is different and that what I told my parents, as I will travel to Malaysia to help people and educate them as education is so important. When I use this technique I make my parents think differently and look to the situation as it is different and everything is situational and I am not doing a wrong thing.
My most important lesson from this book is preparation and the power of preparation and different techniques to help me prepare for every negotiation in both personal and professional situations as we negotiation every day. Prepare and collect thought, make a list and practice it is very important lesson and tools I have learned after reading this book. Not only reading the four quadrants, practicing it in class and repeat using the four quadrants is having good impact at us. Practicing the four quadrants gives us the chance to prepare to most of the negotiation we would face, it is like a checklist with question and answer we could have prepared before every negotiation.
Use these tips from Diamond book, Cialdini book
My list from Diamond book is what I really see myself using daily as needed as we negotiate every day. Diamond have a long list and techniques that has been written in different ways with lots of different examples to prepare us for upcoming negotiation in different situations. The purpose of the list is preparation, prepare us for every negotiation in our life wither personal, business, and to help us reach an agreement and to get more of what we want. My favorite diamond list could be
· Emotional payment, Empathy, Apologizing, Listening
· Valuing people, no blaming, Ask, are you happy?
· Discuss the details
· Standards for me, them, both
· State and restate my goals
· Frame things the way I want
· Communicate is the most powerful tools I have used, as most of my previous situation I could not get what I want because of miscommunication.
· Trust, and how to Repairing Broken Trust tips
· Ignore past and what out of control
· Keep asking why not
· “Everything is situational” What are my goals? Who are they? What will it take to persuade them?
· Every situation is different, thinking differently
Cialdini’s explained almost all the important influence tactics and the processes in his book. The first lesson I learnt is the idea of reciprocity that it is global and international. The idea of reciprocity is applicable to real life and it is survival and transferable. I learnt that rejection and retreats are considered to be reciprocity. The concept of using reciprocity in ethical and un ethical manner is a good lesson to everyone.
The second lesson I would say is social proof, which is a psychological phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior for a given situation. All of us look to others to help us decide how to act, to guide our behavior, to determine whether something is right or wrong. The more people doing it, the more correct it seems.
The third lesson I learnt is that if our beliefs, values, models and actions are not fully in agreement with one another, we feel the tension of cognitive dissonance. A surprising effect of this force is that we may even change our beliefs in order to justify our actions. An important factor in persuasion that uses this principle is that the target person feels they have made a free choice. If they feel coerced or obliged, they can explain their choice by saying they were ‘forced’ into the decision. When they believe they have made a free choice, they feel personally responsible for their decision and seek to justify it.
We can come away from the compliance competition without being disappointed only with the proper understanding of the nature of our opponent. In reciprocity the only real opponent is the rule as long as we are not getting abused by it, we must take steps to defuse its energy completely. The best defense against the use of unethical Reciprocity is not a systematic rejection of everything people offer you after all if you never accept the initial favor there’s nothing to repay, right. Rather, accept initial favors or concessions in good faith. If you find they are not given in good faith or are given only to initiate Reciprocity, be ready to ignore the pull.
All the information that social proof provides are not always right and we do not want to protect our self against that every time. That wrong information comes in front of us when there is a failure in the control of the mechanism. You can defend yourself by recognizing the error in their data at the moment when a failure occurs. The best defense against the unethical use of Social Proof is to ask yourself, “Is this information real or honest?” “Are these people in a similar situation?” and “Are these people most like me?”
Commitment and Consistency:
We can defend our self from unethical commitment and consistency by keeping our self-aware of the negative results of influence tactics. Generally, consistency is considered to be good and even vital. If you feel that you are being pushed by Consistency pressures, and continued purchases or involvement no longer make sense, stop what you’re doing. Explain to the requester that the situation has changed and you can no longer engage.